I just realised I’m an asshole

So I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been on holiday and basically within the space of a week, I have received several bombshells. I am still trying to get my head around them all. My head is trying to compute and rationalise all the different things that have happened to me. My heads feels crammed and everything is surreal. I feel I’m floating by, looking in at things that are happening but I literally don’t know how to react properly. I feel robotic, on auto pilot. 

I also realised I’m a bit of an asshole. I spent the previous week in Germany, drinking my head off. It was for the most part fun but there was one particularly messy night that I care not to think about. So yeah obviously alcohol does tend to increase people’s asshole tendencies. I was drinking away and got pissy over some of the things a friend of my mine was doing so I became a complete and utter bitch. I said and did things I would never usually do and was generally mean. Granted she has never being particularly supportive towards me and is extremely fake but I just blew it up and used it as an excuse to be an asshole. She wasn’t there, thank God but I did say incredibly bitchy things about her, I laughed at her and I showed unflattering pictures of her to people. I shocked myself as I saw myself from the outside and I didn’t like it.

I felt that I was within my rights to say and do bitchy things because she was herself a bitch to me. I got angry and lashed out. In doing that I became a person that I didn’t like. I have now resolved  to rectify this, to not go all bitch crazy just because a person says boo to me.

 

 

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “I just realised I’m an asshole

  1. Lydia Devadason

    I’m fairly certain that at least 90% of us have that revelation at some point – sounds like you’re going through a rough patch – I hope things get better soon :-)

    Reply
  2. JusticeLivesNot

    Growing up in my wild days, we had these certain ‘friends’ that should have come with warning labels saying “instant asshole-just add alcohol”. Even been there myself. I’m glad I chanced upon your blog, since self improvement is a passion of mine (hell, I really gave nothing better to do. Plus, it is my belief that my wife of 20 years deserves a better man than the one she married)!

    Way to own up to your part in this little fallout! I think you’re going to do just fine surviving the Idiocracy! Good night (or I recon it’d be ‘good morning’ for you over there). Again, glad to meet you!

    Reply
    1. damsalinterrupted Post author

      I’m glad you chanced upon my blog too! It’s always good to meet like minded people! Yeah well I’ll definitely be visiting your blog anyway! Aw your wife is a lucky woman so! Yeah it’s nearly two in the morning here, should sleep myself! Good night! Same to you!

      Reply

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